בס''ד
When I was a rabbinical student, our class was visited at school by a number of parents who had suffered the worst loss possible: the loss of a child. They taught us a lot, but there was one message that they felt was imperative to ram home: when you approach someone in crises, or someone who has suffered terrible loss - don't say something stupid. They then gave us a list of things others had said to them:
"Well, at least you have other children."
"Are you sure you did everything you could?"
"Everything happens for a reason."
Please read this unbelievably important LA Times editorial, which gets it right.
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